FART

Week later..


Back on earth..

A old lady was about to cross the road when a car zoomed up to her and stopped
The old lady nearly had a heart attack and looked at the guy in the car
"Im trying to cross the road.."Her voice faded
The guy in the car looked like a puffer fish
"Cross the damn road then!"The fish said
She carried on walking and kept loking at the fish

He then sped off

Another car came speeding down the road and stopped by the lady
The car was black and the windows were tinted. The window then wound down and a girl appeared
"Excuse me? Did you just see a puffer fish go by?"It was Lara
The lady looked past Lara and into the car and saw television screens everywhere.
"Excuse me? Madam?"Lara asked again
Jack then leaned over
"He has a fish head, it stand out quite a bit, he has gills aswell"
She then pointed in the direction of where the car went
"Thanks"Lara and Jack smiled

They then sped off

"Bloody torchwood"The lady said

They followed the car down the street
It quickly turned a corner, narrowly missing a lampost

Lara followed him as much as she could, She also missed the lampost
"Lara, careful"Jack said holding onto the dashboard

She kept on its tail and the car stopped outside a house
The fish ran into the house it was nearest to. This looked dangerous

They ran into the house
"Lara go round the back with gwen, ill go round the front"


Meanwhile..
"Wow what a beatiful sky"Katie said lying on the grass next to The Doctor
"Yeah its great, makes you think"
"About what?"Katie rolled over
"Just things"
"Like sex?"Katie asked
"No"The doctor chuckled "Like life in general"



Back at Torchwood
"Good work team"Jack said
They had managed to shoot the puffer fish in the head. He held a woman hostage, but Lara managed to blind him with a flashbang and Jack shot him.
Jack watch then started beeping
"Thats weird.."Lara said
"Yeah, it never does that"Jack said looking at it
Laras watch started beeping too
She looked down at it
"Looks like an undentified time agent is in the area"
"Ill go check it out"Jack said
"Do you want me-"
"No, its fine"Jack went off

"Lets go somewhere else"Katie asked the doctor
"We've been 56 planets, the tardis is worn out and so am i"The doctor sighed
"Aw come on"
"Lets see what Jacks doing and annoy him"The doctor said pressing controls
"I swear you bum him"
"He wants to bum me actually and thinking about it he has groped my bum a couple of times"The doctor ruffled his hair
"What? Did you just say he groped you?"
"Yeah he has"
"Doesnt that make him ...gay then?"Katie asked
"No, hes actually bi"
"Oh my god!"Katie squeeled

Jack went down to a pub where he traced the signal
He got out of the car and walked into a empty pub.
He looked round and saw a man leaning at the bar drinking a litre of neat vodka
"Long time no see"Jack said
The guy looked over
"Hello Captain, what are you doing on earth?"
"I patrol the earth and the galaxy that it lives in"
They then both charged at each other and fighting violently. They punched each other in the face and stomach laughing away


Lara was sat at torchwood examing the fish body and looked at her watch
Jack had been gone over an hour now, she thought to go and see him, so she took the replacement veihcle.

The doctor phoned up and one of the team answered
"Hello?"The man asked
"Er, yes is Jack about?"
"Hes out at the moment"
"Alright is Lara in?"
"No shes just gone out too"
"Alright, when Jack gets back could you tell him to get back to me thanks"He then switched the phone off

"Ugh i hate talking to torchwood, i feel so dirty"The doctor said


Lara drove down to the signal of Jack. She got out of the car and walked into the pub
She saw Jack covered in blood and the other guy kissing
"WHat the hell!"She shouted
Jack looked round
"Oh hi Lara, erm...want a drink?'He said lifting up a bottle of drink
"Whats going on?"
"Im John"The other time agent said shaking Laras hand "Im afriad to just saw me and Jack, celebrating seeing each other again
"By kissing?"
"Yeah, I didnt tell you Lara, Im bi"
"What?"
"Bisexual"
"You're joking?"
"No"Jack said


Lara then walked back out and drove back to torchwood
She parked the car, she didnt know whether she was angry or upset. She walked into the HQ and saw Katie messing about with stuff
"Ooo!"
"Katie dont touch that!" Lara said moving the object.
"Fucking hell, chill" She moves away.
"Sorry.." She looks down.
"Whats up?"
"Nothing.."
"Right..well I see your busy but youre gunna tell me after work got it?"
Lara nods.
"Good..anyway im going for some sex now cya later" Katie walks off to find The Doctor.
Lara smiled, no matter how much she was down Katie always used to make her laugh..

"Doctor!!" Katie shouted.
"DOCTORRR!!!"
"WHATT!!" The Doctor came up from behind her
"Argh! Never do that again" She says, she looks at him "Whats up with you"
"Nothing, just trying to find Jack" He says looking around.
"Oh well, hes not here come on" Katie says dragging him.
"Woa! Where we going"
"I dunno, somewhere we can have sex" She laughs.
The Doctor rolls his eyes even though deep down he liked it.

Lara sat in her office, trying to concnetrate on some paper work. She couldnt. Was that a proper kiss? Was it just some weird alien thing? Forget that JACKS BISEXUAL!!
She couldnt believe he didnt tell her, she felt unwanted..unloved..the things she was feeling just the other day..turned into the complete oppisite.
She sighed and wiped her mind, she would sort it out later, right now she needed to focus..


"Kate hang on hang on!" The Doctor said holding her up.
"What!"
"You do realise, if we have loads of sex now, when we get older our bodys will be so worn out we wont be bothered to do it anymore?" He raises an eyebrow.
"So"
"So.."
"How does that concern me"
"Cause its your body!"
"Oh.." She laughs. "Anyway! Yano what, ive got a bone to pick with you, Im always the one thats on top cause YOU cant be arsed I want to change and NOW!" She folds her arms.
"I went on top the first time we did it!"
"Ye so did I!"
"Ive been on top loads of times!"
"You havnt!"
"I have!"
"Prove it!"
"How"
"Go on top now" She smiles.
"But-"
"No buts!"
"Right thats it" He climbs on top of her and pins her arms down.
"So your always the dominent one are you?"
She laughs.
"What you laughing at"
"Your really no good at this sort of thing" She laughs and goes into a laughing fit.
"Stop laughing"
She sits up in laughter.
"Right thats it now" He sits up "Youve spoilt the moment"
"Ye but..you" She keeps laughing.
"What!"
"Just..you trying to be all..manly" She laughs loudly.
He looks at her.
"Sorry.." She giggles.
"Right are you gunna keep on laughing?"
"No.."
"Are you gunna shut up?"
"Your talking to me like your my teacher" She laughs.
"Well technically I could be cause I know more than you"
"Oh sorry Doctor" She smiles.
"The appriopate word is sir"
"Shut up" She laughs wacking him with a pillow.
"Right thats it" He pins her down "Your on a detention all night with me" He smiles.
"Rights hut up now your freaking me out" Katie laughs as he kisses her, holding her down.

It was the end of the day and Lara stayed back to do some extra paperwork. She had nothing else to do. Then Jack walked in..
She quickly stood up, grabbing her bag and coat.
"Lara!"
Lara walked off through the corridor.
"Lara!" He ran up to her, standing in front of her.
"Move" She tried getting past him.
"Listen! I'm sorry, I should of told you sooner!"
"Jack, I dont wanna hear it.."
"Lara..I love you.." He says looking at her "Please, lets talk about it, come back to mine.."
Lara fell silent
"Just 10 minutes, thats all I ask, just so I can explain things.."
"10 minutes and that doesnt mean I have forgivin you and, we'll go to mine.."

They walk towards the flat and Lara gets her keys out and unlocks the door. It was really quite when they went in..
"Drink?"
"Erm just water please.." Jack says sitting down.
Lara walks off to the kitchen.
Jack then looks around as he hears noises.
Lara walks in with a glass of water. They look at eachother.
"What the fuck"
"Who's sir?" Jack asks.
"I dont have a fucking clue.."
"Could be The Doctor, using kinky names" Jack laughs.
"Nah the Doctor aint like that..is he?"
"He can be when he wants to be" Jack laughs.
"And how do you know?" Lara raises an eyebrow.
"I dont.."
"SIR SIR OH SIR!" They hear loudly.
"Back to mine?" Jack asks.
"Good idea" They both rush out