What the fuck was that post?

Jack then got closer to the Doctor
"Hey remember that time i touched ur ass and you smiled?"Jack asked
"I smiled cause of something else Jack"The doctor said
"Whatever, i know you're a secret gay"
"Jack, not now"The doctor said


Jacks watch then went off
"Oh for fuck sake"He sighed
Laras watch went off aswell
"Argh!"
"Sorry guys go to go work"Jack said getting up "But i guess you'll have fun without us" Jack winked


They then went to Torchwood where they were automatically in their uniforms. Lisa wore black fingerless gloves, a long black coat, a red low top and black trousers. Where as jack wore his usual sexy outfit.
Gwen ran up to Jack
"Its John, he's asking for you, he's on his way"Gwen said
"Alright guys, just be careful around him"


Captain John then burst through the door
"Heya Jack! Been wondering where you were"
"I was actually at a party"
"And how come i wasnt invited?"John said walking up to Jack "And whose this?"He said lokoing at Lara
"This is Captain Summers, a new time agent"Jack said
"And what i lovely time agent you make"
Lara then covered herself up with her coat
"What do you want?"Jack asked
"I want your help to find some nuclear canistars. A woman sent me on a mission to find them for her"
"And what do they contain?"Jack asked
"Not sure, but i've pin pointed were they are"

The team then moved to the meeting room


"Lets do it!"Katie leaped on the doctor
"Katie, you're badly drunk, drunken sex isnt very nice"The doctor said
"Aw come on its your birthday"She said trying to strip him
"Lets wait until morning"
"No i want it now!"
"Katie!"
She then pinned him down and kissed him. Poor bloke


Gwen was running through things to look for these canistars.
"they are spread out over cardiff, 1 is in the north, 1 in the south and 1 in the centre. Jack you pair up with Owen and look in the north, Lara with John and ill go with Ianto. We might need more people"
"Hey, i thought i was the team leader?"Jack asked
"Jack, you've been away for a long time"
"Well i couldnt miss my doctors appointment. I dont agree with this pair up"Jack said
"Dont worry"Lara whispered to him "It's fine"
"Lara he's a rogue agent"
"Well get Katie and the Doctor down"



The doctor couldnt stop what Katie was doing toh im. Somehow she had quite alot of strength behind her. Something then beeped
"WHat the hell?"Katie said sitting up
The doctor took his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket, it was flashing and beeping
"Jack needs us"


"Can we have a word?"Jack said lokoing at everyone around the room

Everyone walked out
"He's not very nice Lara"Jack said
"Its alright, ill deal with him"
"Lara.."
"Jack you know how my senses are, im quick and if he tried something ill shoot him"
Jack paused
"Alright but theres 3 rules.."
"Ok.."
"Do not turn your back on him, dont let him out of your sight and never ever kiss him"
"Why do you think i would kiss him Jack?"Lara said a bit upset "Do you think im some kind of person who goes around kissing people?"
"Lara, just dont"
She then walked out
"Too bad about the kissing bit"John said
"In front, now"Lara said to him


The doctor and Katie arrived at Torchwood
The team stared at them
"I hate this place"The doctor muttered

Jack then walked out
"Hiya guys"Jack then looked at Kate and pointed some sort of spinny metal object at her
"Whats that?"
"Something to get rid of your drunkeness"He then turned it on and dehydrated Katie of alcohol
"Need water!"Katie said running to the bathroom
"Jack, this better be an emergancy"The Doctor said
"It is, i need you to help us find some canistars, i need Katie to go with Lara incase Captain John tries anything"
"Ok, just dont let Torchwood hold my Tardis again"
"I wont dont worry"



SO they all set off to look for these canistars. Lara, Katie and John found a signal at a local dump. Lara had her gun out, pointing at John
"Can you not do that? It scares me you know"
"Its incase you try anything"
"Im bored"Katie said
"Shut up"Lara said "And stay by my side"

They then got lead to a car where the signal came from. Lara opened the boot.
"Found it!"
She totally forgot, for that moment what Jack said to her.

SHe picked up the canistar and saw John standing behind her
"Thanks for that"He nicked it off of her "You should of payed attention to what Jack said"
He then forced himself on her and kissed her
Lara pushed him off
She wiped her mouth and felt a stinging sensation throughout her body

She collasped to the floor
"Lara!"Katie screamed
John took the gun off of Lara and aimed it at Katie
"What have you done to her?"
"Poisioned her"He smiled
He then shot Katie in the stomach. Katie fell to the floor.
He then put Lara int he boot of the car
"You have 2 hours til your whole body shuts down. For now your paralysied"He then shut the boot

He bent down to Katie and took her phone and chucked it as far as he could


He then walked off


He headed towards where Jack was


Jack was on the roof with Owen
"Its somewhere around here"Owen said
Jack then saw it on the edge of the building
"Hello guys"John appeared
"What are you doing here? Wheres Lara?"
"Busy, thanks for find that for me"John said walking up to Jack "You where always a great mate"He smiled
Jack smiled back
John then pushed him over the building. Then a crash. Jack had landed onto a bench with his back bent. Was he dead?

He looked at owen
"Go now, and give me your phone"John said
Owen hesistate but chucked his phone at John and ran off

John walked slowly down to were Jack had landed, he sat ont he bench looking at him. Jack looked dead.
"Well it was nice knowing you"He took Jacks watch off of him
"You were right, its bigger then mine"John said

He then walked off towards the centre

The Doctor was in the centre of cardiff with gwen looking for this last canistar
Gwen had a gun in her hand and was very wary of The Doctor
"Im not gonna bite you know"He said with his glasses on
"We know all about you Doctor"
"Im Jacks friend, im not a threat anymore, you should know that"
He then looked around the room. They were stood in some sort of kitchen
"Here it is"Gwen said putting away her gun
She picked up the canistar and someone else grabbed it off her in the dark
"Thanks for helping me"It was john he came out of the darkness
"WHat are you doing here? You're meant to be with Lara and Kate"
"Oh they wondered off somewhere, anyway, ill take this, you dont need it anymore" He got his gun out "Try following me, and you're dead"He then teleported back to HQ

He then put all the canistars in a line and pressed the button on each of them. It opened it to form some sort of puzzle. He took the shapes out and layed them on the table. It formed into a triangle


"Something must of happened to them"The Doctor said pacing about "Give me your phone"The Doctor said
"No"
"Gwen trust me"
She then hesistated and gave it to him. He rang jesses mobile. Nothing.. He rang Laras. It kept ringing and ringing.

"Somethings happened, do you have a tracker on here?"
"Yeah"
"Lets find them"

They then got in the hummer and followed to signal to where Laras phone was. It took them to a nearby dump. They got out of the car and looked around
"We're near, but i can see anyone"The Doctor said
"Urgh"
"What was that?"Gwen asked
The Doctor looked at the floor near a car, Kate was in a pool of blood
"Kate!"
He rushed over to her
"Dont....."
"Why?"
"Look, in....car"SHe struggled to say
The Doctor got up
"Theres nothing in here"
"Boot..."Kate said

The Doctor pointed the sonic screwdriver at the boot fo the car and it poped open, Lara was in there
"What the.."
"Posion"Katie said
The doctor analyised her body with the screwdriver.
"SHes been posioned doctor, ive got anti-dote on me"
"Your handy then"He smiled "Ill see to kate"

He bent down to her and saw her clutching her stomach.
"Gwen might need some band aids over here!



Captain John then smiled..just one mroe peice, but where could it be?
He heard a beeping behind him and looked at the dead fish-human body. He saw something flashing in its pocket. He took it out and there was the last peice.

"Well done John"A voice came from somewhere
He looked around, Lara was stood there with The Doctor, Gwen, Katie, Owen and Ianto
"You're all too late, too bad youre saviour isnt-"
"Wrong!"Came a voice
Jack walked up from behind Lara
"Ha ha, very funny.."He smiled "This is some sort of trick isnt it?"
Lara and Jack smiled
"Guess what John? I cant die"
John laughed
"Seriously, this is some joke"
"No joke, cant die, im imortal"
"I pity you"John then added the last piece. A hologram came up of a girl

"Well done Captain John, you put the peices together, and now for killing me, heres what you get"

The hologram disappeared and the triangle turned into a mine. It had claws and latched itself onto John
"Argh get it off!!!!!!"He said
"Just stay still!"The Doctor said
He looked at it, he had ten minutes
Lara got her gun out and pointed it at him
"Thats not gonna solve it"Jack said
Lara turned around "Tell me a better idea then"
Captain John then took Laras handcuffs out of her pocket and put them onto her wrist, the onto his
"Oi!"SHe said turning around trying to get them off
"Still dont listen to Jack do you?" He then swalloed the key "Do you know, this time agent cuffs are undestroyable?"He smiled
"Fucking bastard"She then punched him int he face several times
"Lara, stop it, we need to do something"
"I have an idea"Owen said

Owen then ran into the lab with Jack following him
"I have an idea too"Lara said

So Lara, Kate and John got into the the car and sped off


They eventually got to a car park where an open time vortex was. They all got out of the car
"What are you doing?"Katie asked
"This is the only way to get rid of the mine, it cant blow up here"Lara said
"So, you're killing yourself?"
"Yes"Lara said

She then walked towards it
"Tell Jack..I-"
A car then pulled up. Jack, The Doctor and Owen where in it.
"Wait!"Jack shouted
Owen ran up to John
"What you gonna do? Give me goodbye kisses?"
Owen got a needle out and stuck it in john injecting some sort of red fluid into him.
"This should do it"Owen said
The mine had 2 seconds to go then dropped off
"Thank god for that"Lara sighed
"I put all of our blood into his body,so the mine would drop off. It only recognised his DNA"Owen said
"And who came up with the idea?"The Doctor asked
"You?"Jack laughed

"How we gonna get these cuffs off?"Lara said
"Hang on"John said

He then opened his mouth and got the key
"So you didnt swallow it?"
"You were my ticket to live"He said
He then undid the cuffs and gave them back to Lara
"So need another person for your team Jack?"John asked
"No, go home"Jack said
"I like this planet, its really, laid back"
"I said no, go back"Jack warned
John then sighed and pressed his watch. He teleported back home.
"Aww too bad you didnt die Lara"Kate said
"Shut up" Lara says.
"Oh ye..Doctorrrrrrrr" Katie walks off after The Doctor
"Yes Kate?" He says.
"Can we go to yours I need to talk to you" She says.
"Erm..sure" He begna to get paranoid not knowing what she was gunna say.

They walked back on pogosticks BOINGGGG
"So what is it you want to-" But before he could speak Katie pounced on him.
"I should of known.." He sighed.
"Hehe, dont think your getting away with it that easy, its your birthday and I plan to make it the best birthday youve ever had" She smiles.
"Really?"
"Really" She nods.
"Wel..your going to have to work hard arnt you" He smiles.
"Casn we use the book?"
"What book"
"That book I got you" She grins.
"Ohh, erm, what if we cant do the positions"
"Well..tell you what if we cant do them well just do it normally" She laughs.
"Kate.."
"What?"
"Seen as its my birthday I can do whatever I want cant I?"
"Yes"
"So..I can do this" He rolls over and pins her down.
"Yes"
"And this.." He kisses her neck.
"Yes"
"And this.." He undoes her top.
"OK ITS YUER BIRTHDAY YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO ME!!" She shouts.
"Sorted.." He smiles pressing up against her.